Thursday, July 2, 2009

Game Diary

Team Pure Entertainment

Well Helllooo.
Yesterday was quite a day.  It was the first game of the season for Pure Entertainment, a co-ed soccer team made up of members of my family.  I was pretty excited all day with anticipation.  I was a little disappointed that I couldn't play, but I knew the team would be ok with out me. With out further ado; the game diary.

8:30 Kickoff. The starting line up consists of Heather and Kristen in defense, Kendall and Emily in the midfield, Geoff up front and Tyler in the goal.
8:33 The other team scores two goals pretty quickly and since they were scored by girls  PE (Pure Entertainment) is down by four.  Also no one is really keeping their shape, it now looks like a hodge-podge of positioning.
8:40 After Emily gets PE with in two half way through the first half my Dad enters the game for Geoff, surely this is where the game turns around...
8:42 This is embarrassing.  Dad clearly needs to work on his conditioning.  At first I thought it was a little bit of strategy from the old man, hanging out at the end of the field.  But then I noticed that he kept rubbing his eyes and squinting, also, he had is mouth wide open like he was trying to drink the air.  After two minutes on the field he heads to the bench and bends over the trash can trying to find the other half of the hot dog that Mom through away. Geoff returns for him, just in time too.  Geoff and Kendall score three goals between the two of them to tie things up.
8:48 Kristen makes a brilliant defensive play and catches the ball off of the boards, the only thing is that Kristen is not the goalie.  The other team gets a free kick and Tyler makes a pretty good save to keep it tied going into the half.
8:55 Half time and not one person on PE is talking to each other, they are all just staring at the clock watching the 0:35 second half time count down.  I think I see tears coming from her eyes at the sight of the game clock.
8:56 Team PE pick up right were they left off....and go down by four goals in the first three minutes of the second half.  Its an interesting tactic, "let the other team score. That way we get the ball back at midfield every time", lets see if it pays off.
9:05 Dad and Tyler switch positions and Dad is now the goalie, not really a good move considering 20 minutes earlier he was hunched over what he thought was trash can, when it was actually the time keeper.  See, his vision went in the first five minutes of the game along with his lungs and the ability to distinguish trash cans from anything else.
9:10 The second half strategy I spoke of earlier is in fact, not paying off.  The score is now 12-5.  The scoreboard must be broken though, because no matter how many times the ball goes by Dad, the score remains 12 - 5.  What's the mercy rule again?
9:20 Game. 12-5 is the final score.  Dad must be delusional now because he is just diving at noises even though game has long been over.  Two minutes later he realizes the game ended four minutes ago, and I began to tell everyone that I have a single mother and that my father was kidnapped by the Girl Scouts.

Well that was my first game diary.  Hopefully next weeks game is more of an even battle (I plan on spitting up on Dad minutes before the game so he won't be able to play) and that Team PE has more subs.  Time to hand out grades.

A++: Kristen, Heather, and Emily.  All of the girls played the entire game with only a 0:35 second break at half time.  Kristen gets the MVP because she held her own even though she had never played before.
B:  Geoff and Kendall who really put together most of the offensive surges for the game.
B-: Tyler.  He had a great game and only gets the minus for allowing Dad to take his place in goal.
D: Dad.  The only reason he didn't get an F is because I was really surprised he didn't go home on a stretcher after the first half, to his credit, he never quit
Well until next.  Have a pleasant evening

              This was me moments before we left for Dads game, I was very excited.


At July 3, 2009 at 8:57 AM , Blogger Mable said...

I was laughing so hard, I was crying. That was a pretty good description of our game Beckam. And not spitting up on your dad before the game. We need him - he's much better than the D you gave him credit for.

At July 3, 2009 at 2:42 PM , Blogger MiriamR said...

That is hilarious. I was wondering how that game went. Sounds like you all did ok considering no one has played in away. Or have they? Looking forward to next weeks game diary.


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